We didn’t get the best of news this week during Toby’s oncologist visit on Wednesday.
In a nutshell, he is not sure the lymphoma is responding to the chemo anymore, as Toby’s right lymphnode under his jaw was 20 percent larger than last time and now lymphnodes in his knees and shoulders are also enlarged.
I asked the oncologist if this was the beginning of the end and I can start spoiling him – a bigger piece of hard roll, a sip of his favorite beer at the brewery, a little more pasta than normal or egg for a midnight snack – and he answered the way I had a gut feeling he would – “yes.”
It’s not something that comes as a total shock to me. His prognosis was grim when he was diagnosed in April 2016, and he fought cancer into remission for more than 6 months – longer than they ever thought he would even be alive.
I know we are extremely lucky. He was diagnosed 1 year and 3 months ago. Pretty darn good for a diagnosed that was 24 hours to 4 weeks, maybe a few months if we were lucky.
So many people I know have not been as lucky as we have. Social media reminds me of that on a daily basis. It still doesn’t make it hurt any less.
My plan for the immediate future is to love, hug, spend time with and spoil Toby as much as possible. He is my everything, and I want to give him the world, but I never want to see him suffer or experience pain. His quality of life is of utmost importance to me.
Please send Toby some good vibes.