It’s been over a week since I last wrote a post on My Tail Hurts From Wagging So Much, and our last post was a bit of a cop-out: Wordless Wednesday, where all you have to do is share a photo. This makes me sad, because I really do love writing this website, but at the same time I’m at a crossroads.
Do I continue writing this, or temporarily stop? Do I take a leap of faith, or leave it dormant to work on a career that is more traditional?
I haven’t posted because I don’t have enough to talk about it. Heck, we spent an entire weekend with our friend Jen and her dog Jenks, Toby visited Orange County Choppers with his Aunt Vikki and Uncle Les, I have four giveaways that need to be written, a sponsored post in the works, several articles about a food company we were working with after we went on a tour of their plant and about two dozen more ideas for posts.
So, why can’t I sit down and write them?
Not being able to find a job in the industry I want, not getting the increase in page views I would like to see, not getting the number of “likes” on a post that I hoped for, not being able to do the things I want to do. Having several tech-savvy people flake out on helping with turning this from looking like a blog over to a website. Having my website bought by a domain company, and realizing, that I reached just as many people by using Facebook and Twitter as I did by writing.
It’s all catching up.
Maybe I’m not a good writer anymore? Maybe I’m just not that interesting? Maybe I’m just not good at this? Maybe I should have never bought a house, because my mortgage is limiting me? Maybe I should sell it? Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Commuting two hours in each direction to sit at a desk in front of a computer all day at a temporary job with no real benefits, and then come home and sit at a desk in front of a computer again and write — it’s frustrating.
And, of course everyone — from my family and friends who don’t even read this website or The Adirondack Chick, to my doctor — has an opinion on what I should do. Everyone. But, hey, if my family and friends aren’t reading my website, how do I expect others to, right?
“You need to be more specific about what you write about.”
“You need to concentrate on your “real” job.”
“You need a publicist to be successful at this.”
“You need … you need … you need …”
This all said, or typed as it might be more appropriate to say, I’ve spent today emailing with a web designer, kicking myself for not being able to take off for SuperZoo, trying to find a sponsor for Bark World and talking with PR reps for brands exhibiting at Expo East about meeting with their clients in two weeks.
Writing is one of the only things that makes me happy. So, while maybe I am just chasing a dream that will never come true, the optimist in me continues daily to squash the pessimist in me, as I try to figure out what’s next.
The optimist certainty has it’s work cut out for itself.