At a Crossroads

It’s been over a week since I last wrote a post on My Tail Hurts From Wagging So Much, and our last post was a bit of a cop-out: Wordless Wednesday, where all you have to do is share a photo. This makes me sad, because I really do love writing this website, but at the same time I’m at a crossroads.

Do I continue writing this, or temporarily stop? Do I take a leap of faith, or leave it dormant to work on a career that is more traditional?

I haven’t posted because I don’t have enough to talk about it. Heck, we spent an entire weekend with our friend Jen and her dog Jenks, Toby visited Orange County Choppers with his Aunt Vikki and Uncle Les, I have four giveaways that need to be written, a sponsored post in the works, several articles about a food company we were working with after we went on a tour of their plant and about two dozen more ideas for posts.

So, why can’t I sit down and write them?

I’m burnt out, depressed, deflated, defeated and tired.

Not being able to find a job in the industry I want, not getting the increase in page views I would like to see, not getting the number of “likes” on a post that I hoped for, not being able to do the things I want to do. Having several tech-savvy people flake out on helping with turning this from looking like a blog over to a website. Having my website bought by a domain company, and realizing, that I reached just as many people by using Facebook and Twitter as I did by writing.

It’s all catching up.

Maybe I’m not a good writer anymore? Maybe I’m just not that interesting? Maybe I’m just not good at this?   Maybe I should have never bought a house, because my mortgage is limiting me? Maybe I should sell it? Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Commuting two hours in each direction to sit at a desk in front of a computer all day at a temporary job with no real benefits, and then come home and sit at a desk in front of a computer again and write — it’s frustrating. 

And, of course everyone — from my family and friends who don’t even read this website or The Adirondack Chick, to my doctor — has an opinion on what I should do. Everyone. But, hey, if my family and friends aren’t reading my website, how do I expect others to, right?

“You need to be more specific about what you write about.”
“You need to concentrate on your “real” job.”
“You need a publicist to be successful at this.”
“You need … you need … you need …”

This all said, or typed as it might be more appropriate to say, I’ve spent today emailing with a web designer, kicking myself for not being able to take off for SuperZoo, trying to find a sponsor for Bark World and talking with PR reps for brands exhibiting at Expo East about meeting with their clients in two weeks.

Writing is one of the only things that makes me happy. So, while maybe I am just chasing a dream that will never come true, the optimist in me continues daily to squash the pessimist in me, as I try to figure out what’s next.

The optimist certainty has it’s work cut out for itself.

19 thoughts on “At a Crossroads

    1. I've been feeling like this lately too. I was talking to Katie [Life with Arie] and she told me to remember why I started blogging in the first place. For me, it was to document my life with Claire so that I have all of these memories written down to look back on. I don't know what your reasons were for starting this blog, but it might be good to think about. And it's always okay to take a break. It might be really refreshing for you, too.

  1. I know the feeling, and it's really hard to make a change when you have something you've invested so much into. But if your heart isn't it, don't kill yourself trying to do something you don't love. Take a break, take a breather, and if you decide to come back re-energized, awesome.

  2. Everyone feels this way at times, no matter what they are doing. It's especially hard in this "number of likes" driven world to keep your eyes on the prize, as it were. And I do believe it's harder and takes longer to realize the dream than most originally think. Maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but I feel you've got a great thing going here, it's high quality and it shouldn't be abandoned. Take a step back, some perspective has always done wonders for me.

  3. Michelle,
    We know how you feel. It's time for a vacation. Even an at home vacation. Time to unplug from the computer and everything else that you're burnt out on and are disappointed in. We hope you come back. You're awesome, intelligent, and funny. Sending you and Toby a great big virtual hug.

  4. Oh it hurts to read this. 🙁

    Since everybody else has been telling you what to do, I'll try to take a different approach and tell you how much I love reading your blog. I love your little Toby. I didn't even know about Adirondack Chick but I'm headed over to follow you there now, too.

    I swear there's something in the air because you are like the third person I've read in the last few weeks who is feeling less than inspired these days. I do hope you'll hang in there.

    I have been having a terrible time keeping up on reading blogs never mind writing one these last few lazy weeks of summer. Any chance you can attribute your weariness to that along with the rest of us?

    1. Thanks, Leslie.

      Kind of good to know that other people are feeling the same way. Maybe it's just because it's the end of summer, the days are getting shorter and winter is on its way.

      I should add that I didn't write this to get a bunch of responses, but rather, I think we as writers always try to make things seem so easy, happy and cheery. And, while I think that is important, it's also important to be honest with you, my readers, about what's going on.

      It's not the easiest thing to do, but I think it is a good thing to do, even if it costs me an opportunity, or, two, or three, which I was always warned to think about before "writing what you really feel."

  5. I'll be sad if you don't write your blog anymore, bot your life is your life and you need to do what you need to do. Only you can choose that! The best of luck in what you decide.

  6. I, too, would be sad if you stopped writin'! Ma thinks you and Toby are top notch, and enjoy seeing pics and reading about what's goin' on!
    You gotta do what is best for you. If you need to take a break, take a break. Maybe only post pics for a while. Just do 'Wordless Wednesday's", I know that it's not really why you do the blog, but until you figure it out, at least your fulfilling our Toby fix!



  7. I know where you're coming from. Other than some regular feature posts, I haven't really been posting. I've been feeling like a little fish in a big pond trying to figure out how I can make my blog stand out on it's own. Last week I decided to change my focus a little bit (still pets!) and start a new blog. I can feel my blogging mojo coming back and I'm excited about it and the potential.

    A break can definitely help especially with a crazy work schedule. Those just drain you. Some time to think and get refocused can make a world of difference.

  8. Oh, I know how you feel too. It's so hard to be heard/seen these days when there is so much competition for eyeballs out there. And then every time I hear another thing about the success of 50 Shades of Grey (or is it Gray? I don't know cuz I didn't read it…) – like I heard there is now going to be not only a movie but also a magazine – well, it just makes me think "if that's what folks want then why am I bothering?" So, on the one hand it's hard to be a writer these days… but on the other hand, it's good to be a writer because we have so many more outlets and ways to get our work out there.

    I think you got some good advice – just remember why you started doing it in the first place. Concentrate on that! That's what I'm trying to do.

    Hang in there!

  9. I love, LOVE your blog and reading about you and Toby, however if you need to take a break, I totally understand. I do a book blog and sometimes, I toss my hands in the air and think about giving up on it for many of the same reason's you do… Keep hanging in there, know there are people like me, who look forward to your blogs!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *