Life

Hello, 2018!

Happy New Year, friends!

We have been a little quiet on social media the past week or so, because it’s been a bit of a tough holiday season for me. It’s the first set of holidays without Toby, but it’s also Bear’s first set of holidays. Well, at least his first set of holidays with me. We also spent 10 days with my aunt and uncle at their farm in Virginia, and while I didn’t have much time to write, I did capture some adorable photos of the boys that I shared on the website yesterday.

I’ve been trying to find the words for the start of 2018, and the close of 2017, but they have been escaping me. There were so many great things about 2017 – finally getting a full-time job after being unemployed for more than 6 months, Maddux and I appearing on an Animal Planet special and in People magazine, adopting Bear, connecting with the Canines-N-Kids Foundation and speaking about pet-friendly tourism at the Vermont Tourism Conference.

But, there were also lows – Toby’s cancer coming back in January, losing his battle with lymphoma on Sept. 11, not being able to live in my house full-time and having to stay at my Dad’s again during the week, the whole selling/renting my house issue and being so clinically depressed that I finally gave in to trying medication.

There were tons of highs and tons of lows, and I frequently turned to this blog and you to share them with. Thank you, for always being there. I can’t tell you how much I have enjoyed getting back to trying to regularly write in this space.

Looking forward to 2018, I am not sure what to think. I never liked resolutions, but I always set a ton of professional and personal goals for the year. Or, sometimes I would choose a word. This year, I don’t know how I feel about any of that.

I think I want to find me, this year. I want to find out who I am. What are my favorites? What do I really like to do? What does living authentically really mean to me? Where do I want to live? What career do I want to have?

I don’t know the answer to any of these things, and when someone asks me these questions it takes me way too long to answer them and there are about 20 qualifies to go along with it. I want to be more decisive and sure about these, and other things in my life.

In two years, I turn 40, which is scary as hell. While I have accomplished a lot, there is so much I want to do. When it comes to the dogs, I want to trial regularly with Maddux and hopefully Bear in agility, I want to take them hiking more places, I want to spend time with them while they are healthy, I want to take rally classes. I just want to have fun with them and make sure they are living their best life.

I can’t make Maddux and Bear’s life happy unless I am happy first.

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